The
Measure
of
Grief
It's not what you think.
*UNDER CONSTRUCTION*
7/20/26
WARNING:
This page may contain triggers.
That is not our intention.
Our goal is to allow grief to be defined truthfully ~ to describe it without holding back. The photos chosen are here to draw an honest picture of what grief looks like. They may seem brutal ~ but we know grief to be this way.
Please do not stop at the beginning, though it can be heavy. We all know the BEST part of a story is in the back of the book. Look at this page in its entirety. You won’t regret it. We promise it gets better!
This page may contain triggers.
That is not our intention.
Our goal is to allow grief to be defined truthfully ~ to describe it without holding back. The photos chosen are here to draw an honest picture of what grief looks like. They may seem brutal ~ but we know grief to be this way.
Please do not stop at the beginning, though it can be heavy. We all know the BEST part of a story is in the back of the book. Look at this page in its entirety. You won’t regret it. We promise it gets better!
We stand with The Grievers, for we also have grieved many losses in our own life. We, too, have struggled to understand our own feelings. We want you to know there is nothing wrong with you!
The ultimate goal is to share with The Grievers our blessed hope.
God gives us His promise. We hold fast ~ and we hope that you will too.
With love, Barry and Tammy
By definition, GRIEF is:
“the deep, emotional, physical, and spiritual response
to a significant loss.”
It happens naturally and cannot be stopped.
Grief is described as a heavy weight ~ a burden ~ deep pain ~ sorrow ~ anguish ~ and calamity.
No one wants to have to deal with it, yet we all do, and in many ways.
Grief is always unpredictable and unwelcomed.
The word "GRIEF" comes from the Latin adjective "gravis," which means weighty or heavy.
This word evolved into the old French noun "grief," which means wrong, injustice, or hardship.
The word then developed into an old French verb "grever" which means to afflict or burden.
It is important to note the word "GRIEF" encompasses each part of speech, giving it much depth.
In other words, Grief is a complex word. It is an adjective that "describes what something is like." It is a verb that can define an "action." It is also a noun that describes a "thing."
"There is no abnormal way to grieve."
Because GRIEF is such a deep wound, there are many ways to paint its picture. The Hebrew language expresses emotional depth with its words, and so, there are many Hebrew words for grief.
The Hebrew word for grief "YAGON" means THE DEEPEST, MOST PIERCING ANGUISH, SORROW, OR HEAVY HEART. This is the word used mostly in the Psalms to describe the emotional toll of loss and tragedy.
The Hebrew word for grief "ETZEV" means deep sadness, emotional pain, distress, or a broken heart. It can also describe something that is as a labor or toil.
The Hebrew word for grief "TUGAH" is a poetic term meaning heaviness of heart, profound ache, torment of spirit, or depression. This word is used in the Bible to describe a "soul melting away from sorrow."
The Hebrew word for grief "AGMAT NEFESH" means anguish of the soul. it is used to describe the profound mental distress of grief.
There are many losses we can grieve in this life.
A Family may grieve the nightmare of divorce ...
Some grieve infertility or the loss of a child through miscarriage.
Many are grieving the loss of their adult children who have walked away.
This can leave GrandParents grieving for Grandchildren who have been removed without warning.
A photograph remains the only record of a beloved child who once was.
Children are grieving stolen innocence through many forms of horrid abuse.
People grieve the loss of pets.
This may seem trivial to some, but a Family Pet is simply that = "family." No matter what the animal may look like, the pain cuts deep.
ALL GRIEF HURTS.
Many grieve the loss of good health. A life can become hard and frightening in an instant.
It is hard to grieve the ability to do what we once could do.
Some grieve the loss of loved ones while the sting of death lingers. Life as we knew it suddenly changes, leaving an empty void where that person once lived.
We may be grieving the loss of TIME ~ oh, how we wish we had made better use of it while we had it!
The grief of regret is a hard hill to die on.
Sometimes we grieve our own choices ~ this war is heavier than most anybody realizes.
Often, this is a grief that cannot even be talked about out loud.
"We are always just one choice away from a completely different life."
~ R. Hills
Some grieve a safer life, away from war-torn surroundings.
This is becoming more prevalent in this late hour. Jesus said this would happen.
Sometimes the war a person is grieving is not about bombs and missiles.
Some are made to grieve the color of their own skin or their personal beliefs.
Oh God, how many have to grieve the question "Do I even matter?"
Most anyone would agree that 2020 changed our world.
Though we may not fully understand the depth of that spiritually, we only have to open our eyes to the reality around us.
Even when we don't realize it, we are grieving "the world as we knew it."
The whole earth is groaning ~ and grieving everything behind us that is gone now.
There are so many different losses in this life, so many different things we grieve, so many not mentioned here.
Grief is a devastating emotion.
It can leave us feeling as if we have been dropped off in a lonely, forgotten corner of the world.
The picture says it well.
If you are grieving something, your heart may feel like it's wrapped in strands, as if time itself has bound you.
A heart, once whole, now feels like crumbling fragments falling to the ground.
Grief affects all of us in different ways. Everyone deals with it differently.
Sometimes grief shows through tears.
Although tears hurt, we can let ourselves cry.
Tears are helpful in our grief.
God created tear ducts inside us to aid healing in times of loss and suffering.
God sees every tear we cry.
Not only does He see them, but the Bible says He never loses track of them.
For The Grievers, there are tears seen by others ~ and those unseen.
God never overlooks a tear. He even knows about the ones we hide.
Grief can be a deep battleground in the mind. Science proves this fact.
Sometimes a person can look fine on the outside ~ but inside, they are carrying the weight of unseen battles with a lifetime of unhealed grief.
The "silent war" with grief is often harder than the parts we talk about.
Grief can affect the physical body in many ways. It can show up in our organs, skin, bones, and bodily functions.
It is important to know if you are grieving something, you may feel like a total wreck right now.
The good news is, THERE IS NOTHING "WRONG" WITH YOU!
Your mind, body, and soul are responding to a terrible loss.
There are many different ways we deal with grief ~ the Bible has alot to say about it.
The Book of Isaiah, chapter 53, tells us Jesus is "acquainted" with our grief.
This means He is "deeply up close" and personally able to understand our suffering in grief."
To be acquainted with grief is more than someone having a passing knowledge of it.
"To be acquainted" is a term used to describe someone who has endured profound loss, trauma, and anguish, giving them a heavy understanding of this kind of pain.
Jesus' own family did not believe in Him or follow Him during His ministry.
Mark 3:21 says when Jesus was working miracles, His own family came to take custody of Him, saying, "HE IS OUT OF HIS MIND!"
Jesus understands the grief of losing a Family, no matter "how" we lose them.
His heart aches when we are hurting over this terrible loss.
He endured the grief of losing His family to help us when we lose ours.
It is easy to picture Jesus with smiling faces of those He has healed around Him.
We often forget that Jesus grieves over the condition of those who do not love Him.
Luke 19 shows us Jesus weeping over the city of Jerusalem.
When He came near to it, the Bible says He grieved over the spiritual blindness of the people, the way they rejected His message, and the coming destruction of it.
Jesus suffered this agony so He would know how we feel.
When we grieve over those who are lost in sin, or those who once knew their way and have fallen, He is grieving alongside us.
The shortest verse in the Bible perhaps gives us the deepest picture of how deeply Jesus understands our pain.
In John 11, we find Jesus grieving over His heartbroken friends. Their brother Lazarus has died.
Jesus understood their grief in death.
The Bible tells us Jesus "groaned in His spirit and was troubled" when He saw them.
Not only did He understand their grief, but He could see their misunderstanding of who He was and how He could help them.
Jesus' grief at the home in Bethany that day can be a healing balm when someone we love dies. He understands this kind of great loss ~ and everything that comes with it.
A sudden change in life as we knew it, a longing for the physical touch of that person, or the dark nights alone, He cares about you.
"Tears are a language that God understands."
Lazarus is not the only death Jesus grieved. In Matthew 14, He receives the news of John the Baptizer's beheading.
When Jesus heard this, He withdrew in a boat to be alone to mourn.
We can learn alot about how Jesus understands our anguish in the death of our loved ones through these stories.
Jesus grieved them differently, and for different reasons.
In Bethany at Lazarus' home, He grieved in front of a crowd.
When Jesus grieved over John's death, He just wanted to be left alone.
Jesus wants us to know there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve our losses.
Sometimes we forget to eat. Other times, we eat too much.
Some days we can't get out of bed. Others are spent frantically searching to fill the hours to keep us from "thinking."
Grief looks different in us all.
Is it possible the Bible contains these 2 very different pictures of Jesus dealing with His own grief to show us that grief is necessary?
Perhaps the most graphic picture of Jesus grieving is found in a garden.
Jesus knows the time for Him to die is near.
He knows the physical pain His body will feel.
Deeper than this, He knows that separation from His Father is on the horizon.
Jesus had never felt a day without His Father.
In Matthew 26:38, Jesus uses words to describe His grief that are only recorded one time in the Bible.
Jesus said, "I am overwhelmed with GRIEF, even unto death!"
His Words "even unto death," describe an agony so deep that mean "This grief is so severe that I feel I might die before I even get to the cross."
Jesus' Words prove that deep, overwhelming grief, despair, or emotional agony is a natural human response to grief and suffering, and not a spiritual failure.
Jesus has not, nor will He EVER, fail.
If He struggled with grief, we can too.
Jesus' Words in Matthew 26 teach us some important things about GRIEF and GRIEVERS.
When Jesus said He was "overwhelmed with grief," He was speaking from a raw human emotion.
In this moment, He spoke from ANGUISH in His grief.
The Words used in Matthew 26:38 describe feelings of EXTREME GRIEF.
These words signify a breaking point where the weight is so heavy it drains all of a person's physical, mental, and emotional strength.
This emotional trauma Jesus was suffering was so deep it felt like it was crushing the life breath out of Him.
Jesus had to feel this ache so we could know He understands ours.
He taught us a deep lesson about The Grievers while He suffered in Gethsemane.
Jesus wanted us to understand that Grievers are suffering spiritually, and do not want to be far from God.
Jesus asked His disciples to watch and pray for Him in His heaviest hour.
When He needed them most, He found them sleeping and asked, "Could you not stay awake with Me one hour?"
Jesus' humanity had a need for support in His grieving moment.
He wants us to understand there is nothing wrong with needing help to get through anything that hurts.
May we never be guilty of "not staying awake one hour" with The Grievers.
The Bible never ignores, belittles, or bashes the reality of grief.
Jesus Himself validates that experiencing REAL and RAW human emotions is a very "God designed" part of wearing skin.
A message from Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane:
"The Grievers are allowed to be REAL and RAW."
Reminder:
This can look extremely ugly, really scary, and very messed up.
So, is there any comfort in grief? It is one thing to know Jesus understands it, but it is another to really feel that truth.
We cannot simply define grief, and draw its ugliest pictures, but not leave any HOPE in its hardship.
That would be like opening up an abused soul, stirring its contents around, then leaving that mind open and exposed with no cure.
The good news is Jesus promised to never leave us ~ no matter what we are going through.
Because grief is something He understands, He will never want us to be alone in it. He knows how that feels.
The Bible gives us many promises to help us through our hardest times.
One of His most comforting promises is that He will NEVER leave us, forsake us, or abandon us.
No matter what your grief looks like,
through it all ~
the ups and downs,
the sleepless nights,
the fears,
the questions,
the anger ~
hold fast to His promise.
When the Church calls you "unworthy," He calls you His Friend.
When the rain comes down strong, He covers the downpour.
When the burden is too heavy, He lets you hitch a ride.
When the battle goes long, He won't leave the fight.
When it's too big for little words, He knows where you hide.
When you lose your way in a troubled sea, He'll lead you back Home.
If the grief doesn't end when the funeral is over, He stays in the night.
When they didn't believe you about the monster, He saw it all.
When the bully is bigger, He bends down to eye level.
When the chains lock you tight, He already owns the keys.
When you are the one, He leaves the 99.
When the hurt cut you deep, He sat with you in it.
When the occult pit was dark, His Light shines brighter.
No matter grief's source, His promise remains.
He will never leave you ~ and He will get you through it.
Everyone knows the best part of a story is always in the back of the book.
The Book of Revelation reminds us even grief ends in a BEAUTIFUL PROMISE!
Jesus became acquainted with our pain, not only to let us know He understands it, but also to know how bad we need it taken away.
Because He loves us, God made a glorious plan to save us from hell ~ and to give us His promise to end grief forever.
By giving His Son, Jesus, to die, He offered us His gift of eternal salvation.
This gift not only saves us from hell, but rewards us with eternal life without grief, heartache, or pain.
It is important to know that we must be born again to reap the promises of God ~ in this life and in eternity.
When we believe in Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Savior, His blood washes us clean.
We must strive to make Him Lord of our life, trusting His ways and following His instructions.
The Bible tells us Jesus defeated satan when He died and rose again.
He made an open show of the puny one, triumphing over his plans to steal, kill, and destroy.
Jesus owns the keys to death, hell, and the grave. If we belong to Him, He gives us the strength and power to overcome grief in this life.
How good it is to know if Jesus is our Lord, His strength will carry us through whatever comes.
The best part is, He promises to make ALL THINGS new for every believer ... and to wipe away EVERY tear from our eyes ~ forever!
What a beautiful gift from Someone who REALLY understands grief!
The best part is, unlike us, when He makes a Promise, He always keeps it.
We can trust God to finish the story He has started writing in us.
How comforting to know that our grief "earth-side" will end in beauty from the ashes "Heaven-side!"
He left us with comforting Words in Revelation.
What a beautiful way to bring grief to an end ~ and begin our eternity without it!
When grief overtakes you, imagine the scene!
He promises a grand reunion with those who are part of His Family ~ and yours.
Oh, what joy He has promised those who believe in Him!
His promise to take our grief away, helps us get back up, keep pressing, and stay in the fight.
One day it will all be over!
"The day He wipes our tears will not just be a reward ~ it is a promise being kept."
With His promise in view, we press toward the prize. Though grief is relentless, we never lose sight of the "wiping" that awaits.
Come now.
He saved you a seat!
THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND NOT FINISHED. IF YOU HAVE VIEWED IT, PLEASE RETURN AT A LATER DATE. 7-9-26